forgottenbliss

So, on June 21st, 2008 my lovely fiance, Marie (justlikestars) and I got married in a handfasting ceremony.  It was amazing and beautiful.  My two sisters, my brother, and my dad all read the corner calls for the Guardians of the Watchtowers, which really surprised me and meant a lot.  My family doesn't completely understand pagan stuff, so it was really awesome that they were willing to participate.  Especially considering I asked my dad and my brother right before the ceremony started because our back-up corners didn't make it and the original ones got scheduled to work... But it was really nice having my family involved, I just wish more had been able to make it to the ceremony.  Marie's family was definately there in spirit, they sent text messages before and after the ceremony and have really been amazing.  It would have been awesome for them to be there in person, but plane tickets are just to expensive. 

Here are our rings:

mine

marie's
and the wedding ring that will soon be marie's (in about 10 months...)


and now the wedding...

marie, me, my sister, and my brother

my sis, me, marie, my dad in the back, my littlest sis, and my bro

The happy brides. Nothing that went wrong mattered after the ceremony started.  We were all smiles and giggles.

Getting tied together.

With our officiant.  Very nice and awesome dude.

Kissing in the water. :)

I'll probably get a few more up in my pictures over the next couple days of the ceremony and stuff, but I didn't realize how late it is! Bed time for me. <3

Recommended by Stephen R. Donaldson in his gradual interview:

"Steven Erikson, "The Gardens of the Moon,"
Patricia A. McKillip, "Ombria in Shadow,"
Tim Powers, "Last Call";
(SF) Alfred Bester, "The Stars My Destination,"
Walter Jon Williams, "Hardwired,"
China Mieville (whose work could, I admit, be considered fantasy; but I think of it as SF), "Perdido Street Station."

Patricia A. McKillip, Tim Powers, and Sean Russell. Now, however, I'm forced to add Steven Erikson to my list. Starting with "The Gardens of the Moon," his "Tales of the Malazan Book of the Fallen""

i really need to expand the books i read. it's way too hard though. A couple people have recommend Edding's to me. But the backs of any of the series didn't strike me as intriguing, but perhaps i should give it a go.  neither of those people have read Stephen R. Donaldson, so they wouldn't know exactly what i'm talking about when i talk about my love for his writing.  

Anyway, I read (usually)
Anne McCaffery (nothing she has co-written except with her son, and other than the Crystal Singer trilogy, only Pern)
Anne Rice (vampires only. i haven't tried to read the other stuff yet, and have gotten very bored with some of the newer vampire novels)
Stephen R Donaldson (short stories and Thomas Covenant series. picked up The Man Who Fought Alone at the library today, though)
Peter S. Beagle (I think I own most of his novels, just haven't read them all yet)
V.C. Andrews (all the good ones. none of the new crap this damn ghost writer keeps spitting out and calling hers.  the difference in writing is HUGE. just read the Ruby series and you will see the DRAMATIC difference in style shit half-way through the series when Andrews died)

I also like to go back and read books I loved as a kid. Bridge to Terabinthia, No flying in the house, the witch of blackbird pond, etc.

And if you haven't read the princess bride.
read it.
now. :)

i still have a LOT of books I "need" to read, so it's hard for me to branch out.  It doesn't help that i can be SUPER picky - especially when it comes to fantasy writing (i have yet to finish any book in the LOTR series, except the Hobbit. ha)

Still, if you would care to help me broaden my authors.  I'd love to know which ones.
and I've tried one Palawhoshisface.  It was okay, got boring at the end (Haunted, I believe). Read some John Saul.  Right now i'm giving James Patterson a try (the whole bird girl series). Read a few Stephen King, who i enjoy a lot, i just never read.

and do not attempt to recommend Robert Jordan. Just no.  Not only is he dead with an unfinished series, but i have never been tempted by the massiveness that is the story.

thanks dudes and dudettes.
now i seriously need to go clean my kitchen. ugh.

Edit: hahahahaha i just noticed the typo in my v.c. andrews 'rant'...  the style shit... it is true the style does go to shit, but i meant shiFt. hahahaha either way. ;)

June 17th, 2008
Cutter's Pointe Coffeehouse
1936 Pacific Avenue
Tacoma, WA 98402
Phone: (253) 272-7101
Time: 6:00pm
Cost: Donations


Chris is back 4 days before the wedding. haha.  I think it is the same place that he was at last time.  I wanna go, I wish it was closer though, but we'll see, eh?

My new job rocks.  Cutest kids ever.  Hailey sprained her ankle on Saturday, though.  Poor thing was really upset about it.  She is refusing to walk at all, haha, she says she isn't good at walking, but she is good at crawling.  The doctor says she probably won't be all the way 100% until the end of the month. o.O My poor sweetpea. Owen is kind of digging it though.  He gets a little more running around with me time than he usually gets since I'm dividing my time between the two. 

Jeopardy > updating buzznet.
check it yo.
ha.
: D

I was originally inspired by a challenge on the Supernatural-tv message board, but I got lazy and didn't finish it in time for the deadline.  Not that I think it would have passed the 10-page limit, though... I'm already at 5 and just finsihed the intro basically, so yeah (but i double space when i type, so it's actually only 3...).  You were supposed to write a Vampire Supernatural fic, and there were a lot of good ones, but I couldn't understand why nobody thought of a Buffy crossover fic.  How funny would that shit be, right?  So I hope I captured the amusing-ness that I think it would turn out to be.  Please please let me know what you think if you take the time to read it. : D

---

Fairy tales for Vampires
pg-13
Chapter 1

    “Hey, Short-bus! Yeah, you who needs a haircut, come here and untie me,” the petite blond snapped.  She sat in the middle of a small, seedy motel room tied to one of the provided chairs.  Her short blond hair was disheveled with twigs and grass sticking out of it.  She was clearly annoyed with her condition and mocking the two men staring at her was her way of venting.
    “Tell us where your nest is and my brother and I will talk about it,” Sam replied easily.  He cast a quick look over at his brother who rolled his eyes. Dean had never cared for vampires.  Especially mouthy ones that had given him a black eye.
    The blond flopped her head forward in frustration.  “If you two Stooges need to go find Curly, by all means, I’ll wait here,” she smirked sarcastically up at the two men.  “I don’t know how I can make this any clearer to you. I. Am. Not. A vampire.”
    “Yeah, right, honey.  You just like to work-out, right?” Dean snarled.
    “Your brother sounds a little butt-hurt he got beat up by girl,” she chuckled at Sam.  “He really isn’t that good at fighting.  My cat could probably take him out,” she mused to herself.  A little louder she said, “Might want to tell him to put some ice on that eye; then again, he’ll need a good excuse for not seeing me coming when I get off this chair.”
    Sam laughed outright, stopping quickly when Dean elbowed him in the ribs and growled,  “You aren’t getting out of here alive, honey.  But, if you tell us where the nest is, we’ll make your death quick, deal?”
    “No deal.  I’m not a vampire.  I’m a slayer,” the irritation in her voice was getting thicker by the second and clearly making Sam a bit nervous. 
    Dean laughed this time.  “There’s no such thing.  Nice try though.  Sammy, get me my knife.”  Sam hesitated to hand the sharp blade over to his older brother. If this girl was telling the truth they couldn’t kill her, she was human.  But on the other hand, slayers weren’t real, their dad had only mentioned the idea in passing, and it was definitely with a chuckle.
    “There is such thing, and I am one.  My name is Buffy, you’ve probably heard of me, and you will seriously regret it if you’ve chaffed my wrists.  Untie me before I shove your brother’s helmet up your ass.”  Her tight smile reeked of warning, but Dean paid no attention.
    “We’ve heard the lore, but the mythology just doesn’t make any sense,” Sam jumped in.  “Only one per generation, but there’s supposed to be a secret society that trains girls in case the current one dies?  None of it adds up,” Sam pointed out.
    Buffy let out a heavy sigh.  “Yeah, well, I know.  And you are seriously behind.  A few years ago we empowered every slayer in the world to come into her powers.  Now there are lots of hot chicks out there kicking vampire ass daily.  Now, if you don’t untie me now I’m going to get out all on my own and bruise that pretty face of yours.”
    Sam pulled Dean out of ear-shot of the tied up slayer.  “Do you think she’s telling the truth?”
    Dean rolled his eyes, “Of course she isn’t telling the truth.  There are no such thing as slayers, Sammy.  It’s just a story daddy vampires tell their baby vampires to keep them in line.”
    “Dean, be serious here.  If she is the slayer, a slayer, whatever, we can’t kill her and she will kick our asses.”
    “Dude, chill out.  She’s lying to us. Let me lean on her a little more and we’ll get the location, okay?”  Dean patted Sam’s shoulder and turned to face an empty chair.  He looked quickly back at Sam and before Sam could utter a word of warning Dean was on the floor with the slayer straddling his chest.  “Nice position, honey, but I’m not into all that kinky stuff,” Dean puffed out while struggling to recover and act like he was still in control.
    “You’re not that cute.  I’m way more into your brother, honey,” she mocked.  “Oh, and sweetie, your leather jacket is so out.” 
    “How did you get untied?” Sam asked, still dazed from her Houdini act.
    “How did you get untied? How about, ‘Get off my brother‘?” Dean whined as he struggled to get his hands out from under the much smaller girl’s legs.  Dean was trying not to lose his cool, but with his hands pinned to his side and under the shins of a crazy girl that claimed to be a slayer, it was not easy.  For being such a small thing, she seemed to weigh a ton, but something told him to bite his tongue on that remark.  Instead he grimaced at Sam and flailed his hands a bit like a child might.  “Are you gonna help me, or just stare?  Come on, Sammy, if she can’t touch the ground she can’t hurt you.”  Dean was referring to the fact that she much shorter than Sam.  Dean always assumed that if you toss someone over your shoulder the worst they could do was kick you a little.
    Buffy laughed.  “Seriously?” She looked over her shoulder at Sam, “I wouldn’t try it if I were you.  I really don’t want to mess up your pretty face, but I will if I have to, k?”
    Sam threw his arms up in a hopeless gesture towards Dean.  “I swear I checked those knots like three times, Dean.  I don’t get how you got out?”
    “We’re really losing sight of what’s important right now, aren’t we?” Buffy chided.  “I’ve got your brother in quite the compromising position, so if we can all agree to just get along, I’ll let him up.”  She cast a look over her shoulder at Sam again, “Deal?”
    “No deal, Sammy --”
    “Deal,” Sam cut Dean off with a short gesture.  “Don’t worry about it Dean.  I think she’s telling the truth.”
    “Smart brother you got there, Dean-o.  He says deal, so deal it is.  I’ll let you up and you won’t attack me.  Or you could try and beat up a cute, little girl like me,” she cocked her head to the side as she mocked him with a sing-song voice.  Straightening her neck, she leaned down until their noses were almost touching, “And I will break every bone in your body.”  Both hands were braced on the floor next to Dean’s wide-eyed face as she pushed her self up.  Dean winced at the weight she placed on his wrists.  “Oh, sorry, I guess my tiny little frame is too big for your weak little wrists, huh?”  She lifted one knee and used Dean’s groin to help her into a standing position. 
    Dean groaned loudly as he rolled onto his side and cupped himself.  “You are seriously going to pay for that.”
    Sam cast Dean a knowing look and helped Buffy to her feet.  “I’m sorry about my brother.  He can be a bit overzealous at times.”   
    Buffy laughed as Sam helped her pick grass out of her hair.  “Overzealous? I’d never believe it.”
    Sam smiled, “You know you were getting ass kicked back there, right?”
    “I was handling it just fine, thank you.  In fact, I had them right where I wanted them until you two morons messed it all up.”
    “What?  There were like five of them and they were all on top of you!”
    “I had it under control!” Buffy yelled back at Sam.  She started to say more, but Dean interrupted them.
    “Did you guys just want to jump straight to the make-up sex?  Cause I can wait.  I’m still not buying this not-a-vampire thing you have going,”
    Buffy placed her hands on her hips in a huff.  “You know, if you two idiots thought I was getting my ass kicked and you needed to save me, how the hell did you get the idea in your head that I’m a vampire?”
    Sam smiled sheepishly and threw a look at his older brother.  Dean was pulling himself off the ground and attempting to regain his slightly macho exterior.  Sam looked back at Buffy and sighed quietly.  “Normally the people we save from those kind of positions thank us not try and beat us up.  We thought maybe it was some kind of rival nest thing or a disgruntled member,” Sam shrugged, looking more at the Buffy’s boots and wondering how she could fight anything in those heels than meeting her vaguely amused eyes.
    “I have to admit guys, I’m pretty impressed that you got me here.  For being a couple bumbling fools, I was very surprised to come to tied to a chair,” Buffy shook her head and looked between the two brothers.  Dean straightened up, ruffling his feathers at her comment, while Sam just smiled lightly with a small shrug.
    “We are not bumbling idiots,” Dean growled.  “And if you are what you say you are, than you ought to be more impressed than you act that we didn’t just kill you when you couldn’t fight back.  Prove to me you aren’t a vampire.”
    Sam threw his arms up in exasperation, “Seriously, Dean?  Should be we stake her and see what happens?  Or did you want to offer her some your blood to drink?”
    “And I’m the moron, Sammy?” Dean replied in disgust.  “A shot of holy water will do.  No need to go so over the top, dude.”  Dean grinned with half his mouth as his brother looked down in embarrassment.
    “Fine, hand it over hot shot.”  Buffy held out her hand impatiently towards the older man.
    “No way.  I’ll give it to you and Sam will hold your arms down.”  Dean used his head to gesture Sam closer to Buffy as he poured some water in a small glass.
    “Is this really necessary, Dean?  She can take a drink on her own.”
    Buffy interrupted with a mocking smile towards Dean, “No, it’s fine.  He’s right, if I thought you were a vampire I would hand you a glass of holy water.  I’d figure it would end up right back in my face.  If it will get your macho brother off to see you pinning my hands down, than by all means, let’s play.”  She held her arms out behind her and waited for Sam to take a hold of her small wrists.

    So I know the Dread Pirate needs to post...  I'll try and get him to post soon, but I was thinking about doing some other journals first.  Mostly for me.  A little study of some of the religions that I just don't understand, or completely hate for one reason or another. 

    I need to write a litle something about my problems with my body image...  excuse me while I do that...
Edited: Made it flow a bit better.  I like it a lot more now.

     For as a long as a girl notices things about people around them, I've never thought I was anything special.  My hair was always frizzy and unruly, no matter how much effort Grandma put into it.  It certainly didn't help that I decided a chin-length spiral permed bob would look great on me.  It was horrendous and I hated it after I did it.  My clothes were dorky and weird; my favorite outfit in middle school was purple stretch pants and an over-sized purple shirt with Ariel of "The Little Mermaid" on it.  My skin started breaking out when I was around 12.  Picture a gangly, tall, spiral perm haired, pimple-y faced awkward teenager.  Yeah, I was hot and I definitely knew it.  My stick-figure-legs have only had shape for about 6 months while I went to a sports therapist to make my knees stop hurting.  Of course, I didn't keep up with the leg exercises after I stopped seeing the therapist and the shape went away.  Even today I have a hard time looking at my body.  My ribs stick out - some girls in middle school told me once it looked like I had four boobs when I did a back bend in gymnastics, nice, huh?  My collar bone protrudes in a really unattractive way.  And with every few pounds I lose due to stress or a new job, I lose a cup size.  It can be really upsetting to put on a bra that used to fit that now barely fits with some socks stuffed in it to keep it from collapsing.

     Up until just a a few years ago I couldn't comprehend what it was like to look in the mirror and see someone 'pretty.'  When I did see a pretty reflection, I couldn't recognize it as me.  It just didn't make any sense to me.  In middle school a younger boy told me I looked like Nikki Taylor.  I politely thanked him, but I knew he was only saying it because I graded his papers (I was the Teacher's Assistant).  I went home and found a magazine I had with her on the cover and thought about nice it would be to actually look similar to her.  But I knew when I found the picture that he didn't mean it.  I've stood in front of the mirror wondering why I had to be the smart one.  Most days I just wanted to be the pretty one.  I'd fantasize about one of the pretty girls taking pity on me and giving me a make-over.  I love that people think that just because I'm thin I should be happy with how I look. Being called anorexic, bulimic, bean-pole, skinny, etc. all my life is just as bad as being called fat all my life.  When I got a butt, it was the best day in the world for me.  I'm even proud of the stretch marks on my ass.  I have the same poor body image of a girl who was called pudgy and fat all their life.  I look in the mirror and wish for curves, but it has been drilled in my head for so many years that I'm 'the skinny one' that I can't comprehend why I would want to fill out.  It all sounds good in theory, but then I wouldn't be 'the skinny one' anymore.

tagged by curiouskhrys

 

the challenge: list 12 songs that cheer you up and why
the rules: tag 10 people... then those people should tag 10 more after that

my totally random 12 songs (i'll try and think of 12 different bands too... but I doubt that will happen):

1. The Beast and the Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold - The music hits the right spot every time.  It doesn't matter how pissed off I am or how upset I am, as soon as that song starts to kick in I start feeling better.  Between the vocals, the guitar, the music in general, and the lyrics, I can't help but be ready to face the day again.

2. The World has its Shine (But I Would Drop it on a Dime) by Cobra Starship - I'm a sap.  This song comes on and it just makes me smile.  I love the whole song, music, vocals, lyrics.  Its just very sweet and uplifting.

3. Bittersweet by Fuel - One of my absolute favorite songs of all time.  I love (old) Fuel.  The way Brett sings this song has always and will forever make me smile and give me chills. 

4. Olympia WA by Rancid - When I was homesick I listened to this song a lot.  Olympia is my home and will always be no matter where else I live. 

5. Brightly Wound by Eisley - This song makes me think of my sweetheart.  It is one of our songs and who can be sad when you're listening to a song that makes you think of the love of your life?

6. I'm Not Okay by My Chemical Romance - Seems a bit typical, yes? I don't care.  Its a great upbeat song about being happy to be who you are.  And we all need to hear that every once in awhile.

7. Cadillac by Mest - With five songs left on my list I wouldn't be suprised if the next few aren't Mest.  It is tough picking this one over Hotel Room, 25 to Life, Opinions, What's the Dillio, and Fuck the Greyhound Bus.  They are all awesome, but I think I like Cadillac the best because of the video.  Whenever I hear the song I get to see Tony half naked and blonde.  What a very happy sight... rawr!  (although hotel room makes me think of how he changes the lyrics live, which is always good for a laugh).

8. Festival Song by Good Charlotte - Concerts are the best therapy I've found lately and this song always reminds of going to shows.  It reminds me of a lot of happy things.  That cd always makes me smile.

9. My Own Worst Enemy by Lit - Not only does it remind me of singing with my sister while riding our bikes around, but it reminds my of all the goofy moments I spent with my friends in high school.  And seriously, have you listened to this song?  I smile just thinking about it.

10. Transistor by 311 - At the bowling alley in the little town where I went to high school there was a game room.  It had pool tables and a jukebox.  We used to go and play pool and listen to music.  So long as the jukebox was turned up (frequently it wasn't) the beginning of Transistor would start up at the 'secret spot' (the part you have to rewind on your cd to get to) and scare the crap out of anyone standing near a speaker.  Those were some seriously awesome times.  I loved hanging out in that bowling alley.

11. Will You Still Love Me? by Chicago - I love randomly singing any Chicago song.  It drives Marie (justlikestars) crazy.  And this one has some of the best layered vocals.  Its good fun trying to replicate it with just you singing. Almost as good as You're the Inspiration...

12. (cripes, i am having a seriously hard time coming up with one more song... damn this is tough...) Any song by Ghosts on Fire - Its my brothers band, its a bit of a cop-out, but its true.  I love listening to them and it makes me smile.  I can't pick one song, and I'm probably heavily biased because it is my brother's band, but I love them and him.  (www.myspace.com/ghostonfire)

Now I have to tag 10 people?  yikes... I don't know 10 people. haha, so I tag,

justlikestars, brynn,  randomnessrocks, billytalentrocks, and anyone who bothers to read this. : D 

The next few journals are going to be some studies of certain religions that are meant mainly for my own purposes.  I have issues with a certain 'religion' that I believe is a cult, as do many other people, and I would like to clarify for myself why it is that I have such a hard time being tolerant of this particular religion when I can appreciate the beauty of almost anyone else's beliefs.  Each one will have it's own disclaimer, this one doesn't really need one.  This is just something of a foundation for the next few journals.

So, on to What is a Cult?

From Dictionary.com
Definition from the American Heritage Dictionary
Cult: n.  

1. 1. A religion or religious sect generally considered to be extremist or false, with its followers often living in an unconventional manner under the guidance of an authoritarian, charismatic leader.
   2. The followers of such a religion or sect.
   3. Obsessive, especially faddish, devotion to or veneration for a person, principle, or thing.
   4. The object of such devotion.
2. A system or community of religious worship and ritual.
3. The formal means of expressing religious reverence; religious ceremony and ritual.
4. A usually nonscientific method or regimen claimed by its originator to have exclusive or exceptional power in curing a particular disease.
5. 1. Obsessive, especially faddish, devotion to or veneration for a person, principle, or thing.
   2. The object of such devotion.
6. An exclusive group of persons sharing an esoteric, usually artistic or intellectual interest.

Obviously, number 6 isn't what I am looking at.  So that is what cult is defined as in the dictionary, but what exactly is a cult and how do we know what organizations are cults.  What religions are actually cults?  That is what I'm looking at.

The first thing to note is that the word 'cult' was not originally a negative word.  Even today it is still used in something of a positive way when defining cult classics, cult TV, etc. 

The Religious Tolerance website lists many different reasons why the term cult should be avoided.  Mostly because of the misconceptions that are caused because of the variety of meanings to the word. It is by far the most open-minded and non-judgmental site that I've looked at so far (and I would hope so since the site is called ReligiousTolerance.org).  But for the sake of my sanity and not really thinking the alternative terms are any better than cult, I'm sticking with cult.  Mostly because I've already established what I'm looking at, so there shouldn't be any misunderstandings, and also because I'm not trying to call any groups a cult.  I just want to explore the term and what is associated with the groups that are called cults.

When researching things like this is hard to find sites that are truly objective.  A good portion of the websites I will be citing have Reverends, Pastors, etc listed as part of the running of the website.  However, I am trying to be as objective as possible.  I believe in a mixture or Wiccan, Pagan, Celtic, and Christian beliefs, and I really do try and appreciate the beauty of all religions, so I really do believe I can be fairly objective on the subject.  Also worth noting is that the websites that don't focus on the religious aspects of cults, focus on the mind control aspects of cults.  This is another of those things that people of influence in their communities don't agree on.  Some think mind-control strategies don't really work, while others argue there are guaranteed ways of getting people to follow you completely.  I, personally, have seen the mind control of groups work and take close members of my family away from me.  So, while I do try and be unbiased, you'll have to understand that I can only be as unbiased as experience allows.

Mind control is such a sci-fi term, but when it comes down to it, many groups that fit into the cult category use certain strategies to brainwash and control the minds of their followers.  It's really the best way to describe the techniques they use. Hypnosis, love bombing, confusing doctrine, uncompromising rules, removal of privacy, no questions, guilt, etc. are some of the more popular way.  Isolation from non-believers and society are also common ways of getting people to follow.  Cults will set up new 'families' or marriages to help pull new followers away from their families.  Followers are also told to stay away from non-believing friends and family because they will pull them down.  The cult discourages questioning and you are usually punished for questioning the actions of leaders or the beliefs.

The focus of a cult is it's leader.  Some of the key things worth noting about cults have to do with the perception of their leader within and without of the group.  Cults are typically authoritarian in their structure.  The leader is the focus and is usually very charismatic and domineering.   The leader has complete say about what, when, and how you do anything.  Some cults dictate what you wear, what you eat, and even when you can take bathroom breaks.  Whether the leader is alive or dead their belief system is to be held as the only Truth or Law.  The leaders will also view themselves as outside the law.  They are the final say, and unlike other mainstream religious denominations, they are unaccountable to authorities.  They also tend to claim they have something of a messianic mission to complete.

Cults also tend to focus heavily on recruiting new members and on making money.  This is usually done through false promotions and using fake charities. Many of the members that participate are forced to do so, and frequently have no idea that what they are doing isn't for a real cause.  Their beliefs will often times be very confusing, and question is highly discouraged and even punished.  A cult will preach that it's new ways of believing or thinking are the only ways and should not be questioned.  Their way is the best, the only, and the Law.  While recruiting is a priority, often times the cult's beliefs will say that only a select few of the most loyal and finest will actually make it to what ever 'other side' they preach about.  The requirements for getting into their "Heaven" can be so high that it would appear to an outside that no one would be able to meet all of them.  Members will often believe that there is no life outside of the cult.  They can even become fearful that leaving will get them hurt or killed.

In the next few entries revolving around cults I will cite more examples of what I'm talking about.  Right now I really just want to know what I am looking for and to be able to look at a religion as unbiased as I possibly can.  Like I said before, I really want to look at a few certain groups, so my focus will be on those in the next few entries to determine based on my own research whether that group really is a cult or not.


My sources:
http://www.factnet.org/rancho5.htm 
http://www.cultinformation.org.uk/faq.html
http://www.religioustolerance.org/cults.htm
http://www.csj.org/infoserv_cult101/checklis.htm

Ahoy thar landlubbers!  Me name be the Great Dread Pirate Boyd.  I'm sure ye all been hearing all about me vast tales on the high seas.  No need fer me to be explaining who I's am to all you knowledge having folks.  I be a mighty legend! 

Well, me travels on the seas have been vast, but alas, pirating ain't what it used to be.  So I be coming to shore to adventure with you landlubbers (not that I be seeing what fun a stationary home be).  Thanks to some mighty kind folks I've gotten meself a job at a fancy pub.  Something about a garden of olives, though I don't know why ye be growing olives in a garden, and that be an atrocious name for yer pub...



I had to do something they be calling 'clocking in' before I could be getting started with any of thar work stuff.  Something about paying me fer what I worked, usually I just be stealing what I want, so this be a strange idea.  No need to be keeping track a' me work, just gives me thee gold and ye be living to see tomorrow.


So first I be writing down names and bellowing them out when a table be clean enough fer them to be eating at.  Ye landlubbers aren't much of the lively sort, are ye? No body be liken my idea to shar ther table with others. I also be getting told that I can't be threaten to kill none ye customers fer being rude to me.  What kind of a place be this? 



I be told me attitude be too harsh fer thee front of the house.  But I tell them I not be in the front of the house, but at the door of thee pub.  Aye, they were wanting to write me up fer being 'smart', but I don't know what writing me up means.  Any one be wanting to share with me?  Anyway, they sent be to the 'back of the house' where they be coming up with these places? They stuck me in the galley!  I not be a cooking pirate! I be a captain!  But I be doing my best at it anyway.  Aye, mixing the salad be harder than I be giving credit for.

It be a long day, but in the end I be staying far away from that place!  Me ship's crew be a nicer set of scuvy dogs than be working at that pub!

A long time ago when McDonald's had Pirate's of the Caribbean toys.  I found a new friend named the Dread Pirate Boyd.  Awesome little dude, but alas, his travels took him elsewhere with no warning.  However, he returned to see me and may possibly be sticking around for a little while, at least until he must leave again.

So I wonder, should I photo journal his adventures or should I just post the photos with small description/journals with them?

 

 

I was thinking the other day about the random boy crushes I've had and still have...  Most of them are very attractive, well built men type guys.  I prefer the tall, muscular, musican type usually.  Jordan Knight (le sigh).  Prince William (what was I thinking?). Nicholas Lea (the gorgeous double agent Krycek).


and Brett Scallions.
back in this day:

and hell, any day after that... even with the long, greasy hair.  <3

Then out of nowhere comes this kid:


o.O what the hell?  Where did the short little, pudgy, Irish kid come from?  Does music really make someone that much more attractive?  haha, I have no idea.  Though I had a short boyfriend with funny colored hair about a year beforehand.  Maybe that was it.  Though, seriously, when I heard Benji was single again, I was all about jumping all over that again.  rawr. What's wrong with me? haha o.O

Thankfully my taste as improved again.  M. Shadows (tall and manly, rawr).  Matt Good (tall and gawky, le sigh).  John Nolan (gotta love a cute dork).

My taste in girls has never really fluctuated.  I prefer short, little, tiny girls.  Like my sweetheart.


 <3 
Though I will admit a soft spot for hotties like Alicia.  But way too tall. Give me cute little hottie like justlikestars, Eliza, or Alyson Hannigan anyday.

Feeling a bit random today.  I wish it would snow.  Stupid weather says it's supposed to...

Not too terribly long ago I took to abbreviating Christmas with Cmas.  Thanks for brainwashing me church.  Its a shame I never bothered to look up where the "X" really came from and just let myself be influenced by what other people said about the abbreviation and how Christians shouldn't use it.

I decided today to see what the abbreviation really means.  So I googled 'the origins of Xmas' and I was indeed suprised (and ashamed) to learn the X is perfectly harmless, and is most certainly not "taking the 'Christ' out of 'Christmas.'

Since this is a .org site, I think it is a little more reliable as a site reference than some of the others that show up on google search.  However, there were a LOT of sites with the same information.


I hate it when I let myself get misinformed and basically brainwashed into believing something.  Seriously, I need to stop being lazy and look stuff up for myself.  As a young girl I was an extremely faithful Christian.  Up until just the past several years I let myself believe what the church leaders said.  It wasn't until I started to read about homosexuality in the Bible (and the way it as been misrepresented becasue most people don't read or speak Hebrew) that I started to do my own research and learn some of the truths behind the Christian faith. 

So I thought I would venture through the interwebz and check out the history of Christmas as well.  This I basically now.  I started studying Pagan beliefs in high school and (mostly) college because of some friends of mine that were Wiccan.  After that I basically fell in love with what they believe and have blended it together with my own beliefs about Christianity to create (what I think) is what real Christians should believe and how they should treat others. 

History.com has a section entitled "The Real Story of Christmas" (which is where this link will take you).  There is actually some really neat information, too.  Some I didn't know, so I will share some of the highlights.

This one is my favorite so far.  What a way to celebrate, eh? :

• By th.e Middle Ages, Christianity had, for the most part, replaced pagan religion. On Christmas, believers attended church, then celebrated raucously in a drunken, carnival-like atmosphere similar to today's Mardi Gras. Each year, a beggar or student would be crowned the "lord of misrule" and eager celebrants played the part of his subjects. The poor would go to the houses of the rich and demand their best food and drink. If owners failed to comply, their visitors would most likely terrorize them with mischief. Christmas became the time of year when the upper classes could repay their real or imagined "debt" to society by entertaining less fortunate citizens.

I'm not normally very into American History (though I had an aweseom professor in college that gave me a new appreciation for the subject) but this is tidbit fascinates me...

• After the American Revolution, English customs fell out of favor, including Christmas. In fact, Congress was in session on December 25, 1789, the first Christmas under America's new constitution. Christmas wasn't declared a federal holiday until June 26, 1870.

Someone invented Christmas?  o.O

• In 1819, best-selling author Washington Irving wrote The Sketchbook of Geoffrey Crayon, gent., a series of stories about the celebration of Christmas in an English manor house. The sketches feature a squire who invited the peasants into his home for the holiday. In contrast to the problems faced in American society, the two groups mingled effortlessly. In Irving's mind, Christmas should be a peaceful, warm-hearted holiday bringing groups together across lines of wealth or social status. Irving's fictitious celebrants enjoyed "ancient customs," including the crowning of a Lord of Misrule. Irving's book, however, was not based on any holiday celebration he had attended – in fact, many historians say that Irving's account actually "invented" tradition by implying that it described the true customs of the season.

Santa Claus, St. Nick, etc

• Nicholas was born sometime around 280 A.D. in Patara, near Myra in modern-day Turkey. Much admired for his piety and kindness, St. Nicholas became the subject of many legends. It is said that he gave away all of his inherited wealth and traveled the countryside helping the poor and sick. One of the best known of the St. Nicholas stories is that he saved three poor sisters from being sold into slavery or prostitution by their father by providing them with a dowry so that they could be married.

• The name Santa Claus evolved from Nick's Dutch nickname, Sinter Klaas, a shortened form of Sint Nikolaas (Dutch for Saint Nicholas).  In 1809, Washington Irving helped to popularize the Sinter Klaas stories when he referred to St. Nicholas as the patron saint of New York in his book, The History of New York. As his prominence grew, Sinter Klaas was described as everything from a "rascal" with a blue three-cornered hat, red waistcoat, and yellow stockings to a man wearing a broad-brimmed hat and a "huge pair of Flemish trunk hose."

In case you were wondering what trunk hose look like...

• Gift-giving. . . [important part since] the early 19th century. . . .  by the 1840s, newspapers were creating separate sections for holiday advertisements, which often featured images of the newly-popular Santa Claus. In 1841, thousands of children visited a Philadelphia shop to see a life-size Santa Claus model. . . . stores began to attract children, and their parents, with the lure of a peek at a "live" Santa Claus. In the early 1890s, the Salvation Army needed money to pay for the free Christmas meals they provided to needy families. They began dressing up unemployed men in Santa Claus suits and sending them into the streets of New York to solicit donations.

Onto the Christmas tree....  (i should not be allowed to write journals when i'm bored at justlikestars' work place...)

• In many countries it was believed that evergreens would keep away witches, ghosts, evil spirits, and illness.

• Most 19th-century Americans found Christmas trees an oddity. The first record of one being on display was in the 1830s by the German settlers of Pennsylvania, although trees had been a tradition in many German homes much earlier. The Pennsylvania German settlements had community trees as early as 1747. But, as late as the 1840s Christmas trees were seen as pagan symbols and not accepted by most Americans.

This truly fascinated me.  I need to read more history about stuff. 

• To the New England Puritans, Christmas was sacred. The pilgrims's second governor, William Bradford, wrote that he tried hard to stamp out "pagan mockery" of the observance, penalizing any frivolity. The influential Oliver Cromwell preached against "the heathen traditions" of Christmas carols, decorated trees, and any joyful expression that desecrated "that sacred event." In 1659, the General Court of Massachusetts enacted a law making any observance of December 25 (other than a church service) a penal offense; people were fined for hanging decorations. That stern solemnity continued until the 19th century, when the influx of German and Irish immigrants undermined the Puritan legacy.

And to end it all.  Rudolph.  I <3 that silly little reindeer and the awesome movie he made with Burl Ives.

• In 1939,[Robert L. May] wrote a Christmas-themed story-poem to help bring holiday traffic into his store. Using a similar rhyme pattern to Moore's "'Twas the Night Before Christmas," May told the story of Rudolph, a young reindeer who was teased by the other deer because of his large, glowing, red nose. But, When Christmas Eve turned foggy and Santa worried that he wouldn't be able to deliver gifts that night, the former outcast saved Christmas by leading the sleigh by the light of his red nose. Rudolph's message—that given the opportunity, a liability can be turned into an asset—proved popular. Montgomery Ward sold almost two and a half million copies of the story in 1939. When it was reissued in 1946, the book sold over three and half million copies. Several years later, one of May's friends, Johnny Marks, wrote a short song based on Rudolph's story (1949). It was recorded by Gene Autry and sold over two million copies. Since then, the story has been translated into 25 languages and been made into a television movie, narrated by Burl Ives, which has charmed audiences every year since 1964.

Merry Christmas and a Blessed Winter Solctice to everyone.

(cell phone pic... sorry for the blurry)

I'm by far not even close to being PC.  I am very rarely offended by anything.  But when it comes to putting stuff on the back of cereal boxes that are meant for kids to read, I can be a little more sensitive.

Why is the guy from France (FR+ants...haha) look pretty normal but the guy from Canada looks retarded?  His eyes are crossed and he's missing his two front teeth.  The guy from Japan looks as you would expect, certainly not good, but nothing overly offensive.  This just boggles my mind.  Everyone on the back of this box looks fine, but the Canada guy.

I can't help but think that if fucked up.

Pirates ain't be made fer watchin the youngins.  I be telling ye all about me hardships after I get back from tamin cheetahs. 

So after all of my frustrations with the family I work for it all came to a head last night.  I asked for the pay that I expected from the beginning, and they can't give me that.  It kind of sucks because I really love that kid and I will miss him like crazy, but I need to be paid what I'm worth and what is around an average salary for a nanny in my area.  I'm off to find a new family, but this does give me the oppurtunity to make sure I get everything I need and think about relocating to Seattle or around there.  I was looking at apartments last night and the prices really aren't that bad.  You can get an apartment in the Seattle area for under 750 dollars.  :)  So my plan is to find a job up north (closer to Boeing, microsoft, etc or to put it bluntly, where the wealthy people live) and move up there hopefully by the summer.  I think that if I get a job making around $15-17 an hour and get a little gas compensation we should be able to save some money for a deposit and get someone to co-sign for us pretty easily.  And once we are both working full-time hours it will be easier to save and pay our bills.

So it's good and bad new, but I think mostly good.  I'm looking forward to searching again, just not really looking forward to leaving my little Ben.  :( 

I should have some time after work to take some pictures of the flooded falls!  So I will post some tonight.  I can't wait to get over there and see how high it is.  I took a few of the park at the the end of the falls, but they are so-so, I may or may not put some of those up. 

The Dread Pirate Boyd has been helping me nanny this week.  His adventures should be good.  He isn't really fond of kids. 

 

Wow.  It is nuts up here in Pacific Northwest.  It snowed all day Saturday. So awesome! It didn't even suck driving up to Seattle or standing outside in line to get to see Sonny Moore.  He was amazing by the way.  Seriously, I wasn't really into his stuff, not my style, but he was unbelievable.  Turned the entire crowd around from kind listening to bobbing and dancing. wow.  justlikestars should be posting a video soon.  and some pictures of the snow.  <3  First snowfall of the season on December 1st.   I love it.

But then Sunday it started raining/sleeting.  And it hasn't really stopped raining since.  We live about 20 minutes from civilization and on my way to work today I got stuck because a mudslide blocked off the highway. This is where I'm supposed to be able to drive through and get to I-5, but apparently the mudslide had other plans.  How sucky would it be to be the owner of that little white car?

(taken by wsdot)

I finally got turned around to go a different direction (after at least an hour or being parked behind a police barricade) and the route I ended up taking to work was almost as bad as a mudslide.  Running water flowing across the highway.  That I oh so stupidly drove my little hyundai accent through... I thought I was gonna float away, but I made it through.  Then this tiny little lowered honda civic zipped past me.  I have no idea how he made it through...  Boggles the mind.  I almost turned around and said fuck it, I'm not going into town only to get stuck there, but turning around meant driving through even more running water, that I'm pretty sure was deeper than the stuff I drove through.  o.O  so I went to work and I almost got stuck in Olympia.  Which looks something like this:

that is a main intersection off the freeway...  and yes, those are cars you see in there...

same intersection, different angle.  This is from where the Pier 1 sign is.

Different intersection, but right near the other one...  (photos liberated from the olywa lj community. i didn't take them.  but i will be taking after flood pictures of the falls soon.  after i can drive there...)

So yeah... crazy huh?  I'm actually kind of glad I don't live in Olympia today.  But only today and maybe tomorrow.  It's still raining.

I don't know why, but today already sucks.

it's 10:09 a.m.

I woke up from sleeping almost completely through the night (a first for the last week) and cuddled my kitty while my alarm sang into my pillow.  But I couldn't get up.  I didn't want to, I didn't care to, I just wasn't feeling it.  I didn't want to sleep either, just be in bed.  I got up though because I have to.  Ben needs me.

I had a feeling I was going to have to stay until 4ish today (normally I get to leave by 3:30).  I told myself I was going to say something today.  I was going to let her know that it is not okay to let me know I have to stay later at the beginning of my work day.

I didn't.

She said it would be her coming home and she would pay me then.  Practically told me as she was jumping in the car. 

And I just sat there all wide-eyed and open-mouthed and said, "Okay."

Ben isn't happy today either.  I think his teeth hurt.  He's been grinding them together while we walk.  It's a really horrible noise.

Maybe staying will be a good thing.  I can try and talk to her about what I need from them. 

But I doubt it.  $20 to the poor sap that actually thinks I'll follow through.  I hate talking to people.

I'd much rather just write it all out.  That way at least I know I've said all I wanted to say.  I always forget something when I talk to someone.  Usually something important.

On the happy side, it is supposed to snow tomorrow and we're going to see Sonny at El Corazon.   On the down side, we are possibly going to see Sonny's concert in Seattle.  I hate winter concerts.

I wish we could see From First to Last, too.  But rent and phone bill are due, and I need a new phone.  My battery won't hold a charge.  I found a motel that's only $44 for a Saturday night.  But 30+44+28= way too much for our budget (or 102) oh, and +food+gas= really way too much. 

And the Avenged Sevenfold concert is sold out.  Not a huge deal, we couldn't go before it was sold out, but it would have been nice.  Seeing Senses Fail only made me want to see another concert more. And did I mention I hate winter concerts?  I hate being cold.  It hurts my joints.

I miss meeting band members.  I can't remember the last ones we met after a show.  Taking Back Sunday?  Fuck, that was a long time ago... 

I should be done with this.  It isn't really making me feel better and I'm starting to ramble.

Proposal Essay for class.  :)  I got 150/150!!  So I thought I would share my awesomeness. haha. 

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I'm tryng really hard to not be frustrated right now.  I almost didn't get paid yesterday.  That was awesome.  They basically just forgot it was the 15th and that I need to get paid that day because there is no way in hell we could last an entire month on one paycheck, big enough or not.  It has to be split up.  But she paid me, so its not a huge deal.

I'm a nanny.  I love what I do.  I get to play with a baby all day and when he is napping I try and take time to keep the house looking nice and relaxing or writing.  They knew when I started that I was planning on writing while he was napping.  They were okay with that.  I am totally okay with doing laundry, vacuuming, dishes, sweeping, picking up after us, etc.  All that is just upkeep.  I am not a housekeeper.  It is not my job to pick up your piles of shit and find places for them.  I don't get paid enough to do that kind of shit.  And don't ask me to do these things while blaming your husband.  Apparently he's becoming upset that the house isn't 'clean' when he gets home, but oh, it isn't my fault.  I'm doing a great job, it's just that he isn't making the right choices and keeps going out and watching the game, etc. instead of cleaning up. 

You know what.

Not my problem

I didn't sign on as your personal house cleaner because you have so much other stuff to do that you don't have time to put stuff away.  I don't clean my own house, why the hell should I clean yours?  I don't know where your shit goes.   I'm not going to neatly stack it somewhere so that you can put it away easier. 

My last family was amazing.  So amazing in fact I felt like I should do all these little extra things for them.  I started vacuuming and doing laundry and the dishes on my own.  She didn't ask me to.  I felt like I should because they were so nice.  Oh, and they were paying me 14 bucks an hour.  I'm not about to sit on my ass for an hour at the price.  I should be doing something.  They also helped me out way more than they needed to on several occasions.  They were awesome and I wanted to show them my appreciation by helping out more than they asked.  I got to see them over the weekend and I miss them.  A lot.

I get paid $8 an hour to watch an 8 month old for 8 hours a day.  It's great and I technically get paid more than my last job because of the hours, but I'm not going to do all this bitch work while he is napping for 8 fucking dollars an hour.  They knew I said I needed at least 10.  They said that sounded reasonable.  So what the fuck.

I need to sit down and talk to her again.  She wants to do up a contract, which is fine with me because then we all know what is expected.  I'm going to make it clear that I'm not a housekeeper.  I help out to make it easier on them.  They want a housekeeper - they can hire one.  I also want a raise.  I could be making more money working at McDonald's right now.  That is what really upsets me. 

If I can't get paid more I'm thinking I might find another family.  That idea really makes me sad, but I can't be someone's kid bitch.  I'm a nanny.  I take care of your kid, I help your kid grow, I love your kid, I play with your kid. 

The other day I told Marie I should have looked for a job in Seattle and then we could have moved up there.  Work with another family that works for Boeing... I might start looking again.  Just in case.  I love this kid and I don't want to leave and I really don't want to be frustrated when I'm around him. 

so deep breath.

end rant. 

life must continue as planned...

{edit} the best part of the journal rant is that i went and did pick up a few of the piles and the shit and found places for them.  *facepalm* 

Monday night Marie (justlikestars) amd I went to see Senses Fail with New Found Glory a couple other pretty decent bands with a couple of our friends and their friends.  They are all under 21, so we decided to be old and sit in the bar instead of fighting the crowd.

A Cursive Memory (I think) opened and they were pretty decent.  They looked like a band full of 16-year-old Ryan Ross's. haha.  Kinda sounded it too... but not horrible.

Something about Sirens? played after that and they were awesome.  I made some buddies while sitting with Marie and drinking and we thought they started off a little weak, but ended on a good note.  They're music was all hard and then the singer would come in and ruin it.  But it turns out that was just a couple songs.  Overall, I wish I remembered their name...

Marie made a buddy while I was going to the bathroom. haha, and afer I got back he be-friended us both and then took off to enjoy the show and await the arrival of his real buddies. Then another guy plops down next to me and we chatted for a bit.  He even gave me his number! haha  so awesome.  Though he swears it wasn't because he was hitting me.  His friend lives in Oly and they don't know anyone. I'm so going to text him later.  : D  Then he took off cos all his friends were underage, and this semi-drunk guy started talking to me about my tattoos.  But he was distracted by pretty girls that were actually willing to go home with him and his sober buddy came over and we chatted it up through most of the second band and most of the rest of the show.  I made sure no one snagged their chairs while the went back and forth into the pit. 

It was awesome.  They were nice dudes.  Apparently I need to drink at all concerts since I seem to make lots of cute friends that way.  Drunk friend (chase i think...) was going to buy marie and i a drink, but right after he said that security came over and told him and his sober friend were cut off because they were too drunk! All because some little bitch pushed drunk friend's drink off the counter and then proceeded to get in HIS face about it.  o.O  What the fuck bitch?  I should have had drunk friend's back, but I wasn't really feeling getting into a fight with a drunk hoe and getting kicked out before seeing Buddy.  I'm pretty sure she tattled on him because she kept trying to give him sober friend's water (who was at the pit during all this).  I hate drunk bitches. 

I got a kiss from a cuteish girl because I found her hair tie too! haha!  Irish Whiskey is my new best friend!  I really wanted another drink too.  Stupid security.  I didn't want to have to PAY for another double Jameson. That shit is expensive!

New Found Glory was actually pretty decent.  But Senses Fail was WOW.  We had fun bouncing around at the bar rail and watching Buddy.  He is insane, and amazing live.  Everyone says he can't sing for shit live, and he was on.  All of them were amazing and they played a perfect mix of old and new songs.  It was pretty much half and half.  *squee*  Buddy tried to kill Heath a couple time with his mic and his fists-o-fury.  Garrett and Mike got to avoid most of it cos they were on the other side of the stage. ha.  Mike is fucking awesome, and way hotter than pictures give him credit for! haha and what a fucking scream/growl that dude has.  I was very suprised that was him and not Buddy.  Garrett grewed up good. I love turning bands into pieces of meat to stare at.  HAHAHAHA.  But DAMN, holy hot stick batman, Garrett got beaten with it!  I couldn't see Dan :(  We were too far to the side. 

It was an awesome show to say the least.  Probably one of the most fun times to be had while sitting at the bar and watching. 

Next up, Sonny!!!  Now I want to go see FFTL and a7x though.  :(